Primitive Lifestyles- Critical views of civilization.

People interested in the primitive lifestyle, or in a perspective from the mind of this Securo Sapiens as versus agriculturally industrialised automatons should read some essays criticial of civilization. I suggest John Zerzan (Excerpts:)

"The project of subduing nature, begun and carried through by agriculture, has assumed gigantic proportions. The “success” of civilization’s progress, a success earlier humanity never wanted, tastes more and more like ashes. James Serpell summed it up this way: “In short we appear to have reached the end of the line. We cannot expand; we seem unable to intensify production without wreaking further havoc, and the planet is fast becoming a wasteland.”"
-- from 'Agriculture'

"Thus, as Binford (1968) put it, "The question to be asked is not why agriculture...was not developed everywhere, but why it was developed at all." The end of gatherer-hunter life brought a decline in size, stature, and skeletal robusticity (Cohen and Armelagos 1981, Harris and Ross 1981), and introduced tooth decay, nutritional deficiencies, and most infectious diseases (Larsen 1982, Buikstra 1976a, Cohen 1981). "Taken as a whole...an overall decline in the quality--and probably the length--of human life," concluded Cohen and Armelagos (1981)."
-- from 'Future Primitive'

"A defining feature of the present world is built-in disaster, now announcing itself on a daily basis. But the crisis facing the biosphere is arguably less noticeable and compelling, in the First World at least, than everyday alienation, despair, and entrapment in a routinized, meaningless control grid."
-- from 'The Modern Anti-World'

"We succumb to objectification and let a web of culture control us and tell us how to live, as if this were a natural development. It is anything but that, and we should be clear about what culture/civilization has in fact given us, and what it has taken away. "
-- from 'Running on Emptiness'

La vie en Rose- Edit Pilaf

LA VIE EN ROSE (French Lyrics)

Des yeux qui font baisser les miens,
Un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche—
Voilà le portrait sans retouche
De l’homme auquel j’appartiens.

Quand il me prend dans ses bras,
Il me parle tout bas,
Je vois la vie en rose.
Il me dit des mots d’amour,
Des mots de tous les jours,
Et ça me fait quelque chose.
Il est entré dans mon cœur,
Une part de bonheur
Dont je connais la cause.
C’est lui pour moi,
Moi pour lui dans la vie,
Il me l’a dit, l’a juré pour la vie.
Et dès que je l’aperçois,
Alors je sens en moi
Mon cœur qui bat.

Des nuits d’amour à plus finir,
Un grand bonheur qui prend sa place,
Les ennuis, les chagrins s’effacent,
Heureux, heureux à en mourir.

Quand il me prend dans ses bras,
Il me parle tout bas,
Je vois la vie en rose.
Il me dit des mots d’amour,
Des mots de tous les jours,
Et ça me fait quelque chose.
Il est entré dans mon cœur,
Une part de bonheur
Dont je connais la cause.
C’est lui pour moi,
Moi pour lui dans la vie,
Il me l’a dit, l’a juré pour la vie.
Et dès que je l’aperçois,
Alors je sens en moi
Mon cœur qui bat.

LA VIE EN ROSE (English translation)

Eyes that gaze into mine,
A smile that is lost on his lips—
That is the unretouched portrait
Of the man to whom I belong.

When he takes me in his arms
And speaks softly to me,
I see life in rosy hues.
He tells me words of love,
Words of every day,
And in them I become something.
He has entered my heart,
A part of happiness
Whereof I understand the reason.
It’s he for me and I for him, throughout life,
He has told me, he has sworn to me, for life.
And from the things that I sense,
Now I can feel within me
My heart that beats.

In endless nights of love,
A great delight that comes about,
The pains and bothers are banished,
Happy, happy to die of love.

When he takes me in his arms
And speaks softly to me,
I see life in rosy hues.
He tells me words of love,
Words of every day,
And in them I become something.
He has entered my heart,
A part of happiness
Whereof I understand the reason.
It’s he for me and I for him, throughout life,
He has told me, he has sworn to me, for life.
And from the things that I sense,
Now I can feel within me
My heart that beats.

------------

If I had a dime for everytime I said I wouldn't but did, I'd be filthy rich

I'm taking FULL responsibility of this.
Because I know it's my own fault.
Okay, maybe not completely, but almost. But whatever.

Can you guess where this is going?
ha.
I bet.
and I can't blame you.
BUT! I'll leave that for last.
Just to make sure you listen to me. Or something like that.

I got my car registered, and I got my license plate.
I'd give you a pic, but that doesn't like a rather wise idea.
I got the title in the mail this week too. It says J. A. A. H. on it.
and then it kinda hit me...
DAMN. I bought my 1st car by myself...
paid for, checked, fixed and registered.
I think I'm going places in life.
but that's gonna be after I get my license.
Lol. ^.^

SO.
I'm pretty much half way though the quarter... it feels alot easier this time around. I'm not sure if that means I'm getting better or it means I'm just failing at something.
Maybe both?
I'd hope neither.
If I get too comfortable then shit happens. It's a fact of life. You relax, and then you drop the ball, and screw up and holler at the top of your lungs and have a minor existential crisis or something like that. I think. I wouldn't quite know though.

I've got some interesting news of sorts...
I'm kinda not supposed to tell but... I mean, it's not like y'all live here anyways.
I had to go to Jury Duty.
This means... I was selected to be *potentially* a part of a jury.
It ended up being a TOTAL waste of my day, in which I sat in a room with 400 other people.
and did nothing.
ALL DAY LONG.
which was, in every which way, a Turkish  torture

I was there from 7:40 am...
until 6:15 pm
and I ended up NOT being selected to be interviewed for the Jury.
Which is a GOOD thing.
Being there was like an inverse feeling kickball in school...
you did NOT want to be picked, under any circumstances at all.

After they selected about 170 people of the 400, a judge came out and said that the case they were looking for a jury was a triple murder
*_*
*&^#$^%@#$
and that it would probably be 4-5 weeks of jury duty.

Anyhow.
6:30 rolled around and I had nothing to do...
so I did a BAD thing.
I'll make it short and sweet in hopes it makes it better?
I called Jacob, and agreed to go to North Ave to hang out.
SO.
That I did.
We went to Moe's and got some food, then back to the dorms & watched some episodes of True blood.

The thing is... that in doing that... I've set myself up for failure again... how can I not?
The truth is that I need to go back a little bit more.

Last Saturday, I was bored.
I was a tad... down. For various reasons, to which we can tally PMS, work, headache, hw, wanting to party and feeling like I'm 21 going on 35.
.... and Jacob texted me. something simple and *seemingly* inconsequential: I miss you and wish you feel better.
I start talking to the guy, in a non-aggressive manner for the first time in months, and he's genuinely ... nice.
Which kinda concerns me but whatever.
He asks me a question... what would be the one thing that would make me happy right now?
I answer in true Jezz fashion: Chocolate ice cream.
I keep doing hw, and later find out that he's texting me while he's in the movies ( I mean, who does that?) and told him I'd stop talking to him and tell him to watch the movie.
...
an hour later, he calls me, but I don't answer and head to take a shower.
When I get out the shower 20 minutes later, I see 3 text messages, all from Jacob.
-What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?
-Why aren't you answering?
   &
- I really hope you're not asleep... I'm outside & I've got a surprise for you.

So imagine the look on my face when I go outside, and walk around the parking lot to find him leaning back in his car seat staring at his phone.
I got in his car... and he gave me the world's hugest hug, and reaches into the back seat, and pulls out a pint of Death by chocolate ice cream.
I nearly cried. No joke. I mean, there was no way in hell he could've known that my favorite cookie recipe is for Death by Chocolate cookies, and that I used to make them with the now-infamous person who was once my BFF.
But there we were and I was in awe... he drove about 30 miles to bring me ice cream at 3 am.
Maybe I'm easily impressed, but... damn.

We went into my house to get two spoons, and of course all the spoons were dirty, so he had to wait for a little.
It's funny... that was the 1st time he'd ever been to my house, and he actually noticed that too.
Anyhow, we headed back out to the car, cause we didnt mean to wake anyone in my house.. and we did the usual: sit in the car & talk, & listen to music.
Which was all good and fine, until John Mayer, Block Party and Imogen Heap came on back to back to back to which we decided that we don't mess with his ipod on random and changed it to a hip hop playlist in order to make things a little more... cordial and less tempting? I guess that's the closest word I have.

and we talked for hours again, and it's funny how I say never again, and not two weeks later end up talking to him and in a somewhat compromising situation with him again. I mean, DAMN!

So yeah.
That's all for one night's confessions.
Not that there's really more to tell, but you know.

SN: I am starting to work on making this an actual book. Yes.
Ally: you are officially the un-official editor. XD
cause you called dibbs like, a lifetime ago.

Although, Jacob seems to see this a tv show of sorts.
He said, and I quote: "NOOO! You're not getting rid of me that easy. This is only season 2. In which you dumped me and I came back with ice cream in the middle of the night. Last season's finale was the car episode... we have a WHOLE lotta more ground to cover."

Okay I guess?
Maybe I should be mad.

Anyhow, I'm gonners. It's 12:18 and I am OUSTA here.

Night y'all.
Much love

-Jezz