Score! - A perfect application of Master pimp's teachings

So after a night out with my brother Dude, and his best friend Cuban Hottie, some unexpected things happened. The guys told Jacob I was on a date with Cuban Hottie, and when Jacob called, he heard him. Yikes. I agreed to hanging out with Jacob and the Dominican crew to watch the 4th Star Wars movie, and Jacob offered to pick me up around 10-11 am.
Except I didn't get home until somewhere between 5 and 6 am... and passed out. Like all things in this complicated life of mine things got better from there.

Score! A perfect application of Master Pimp's teachings 

After the night out with Cuban Hottie and my brother, I got home and passed out. I slept ridiculously well. I woke up feeling rejuvenated and happy. And then I remembered I was supposed to be up early to meet Jacob.
I looked outside. I was WAY too bright to be 11 am.
I laughed and laughed and laughed. Instead of getting up and going to figure out where was my phone, I rolled over and fell asleep again for a while.
I woke up, and looked through my things. My phone died in my coat pocket.
I plugged in the charger and turned it on. I had 10 messages from Jacob, ranging from happy to pissed.
Needless to say, I was really amused by all of this, of course.
How could I not be? I was getting back in some way the dignity I lost in putting up with all the shenanigans I did before.

I read over the messages, and the last one was the one from which I got the most kick out of:
He said:

"If you changed your mind about hanging out with me, that's cool. You could've at least answered the phone and said something, instead of just turning it off on me so I get the voicemail"

Oh Damn.

I tried to stop my laughing and be serious, and I called Jacob, to which, at my slight surprise, he answered.

He asked what was going on, and I told him I overslept and my phone had died, since I forgot where Cuban Hottie had left it when he dropped me off home.

Jealous again, Jacob asks if he slept over, and I tell him he didn't, adding a slight hint of sadness to my voice.

I ask him if they're all watching the movie, to which he answers that they haven't and offers to pick me up, which I said would be cool.

I scramble out of bed, shower and throw on sweat pants and head out.

We head over to Pilot's house, who's got a girl over, whom we'll call Out-of-State-E because she lives in Arizona, or something like that.

We head to the basement and turn on the movie, and of course they sit on one couch and I have to sit on the other one with Jacob.

This time, in some sort of thoughtless moment, I just sit right next to him and grab a pillow and get cozy. He takes this as a cue to put his arm around me and I give him a look between puzzled and concerned, to which, he answers, "Oh so cause you went on a date I'm not allowed to do this anymore?"

I laughed of course and elbowed him, and just watched the movie.

The movie was ok. I kept falling asleep because I was completely exhausted from everything from the night before.

Jacob offers to take me out to grab lunch or something, and I tell him I'd rather not, because I have plans. He assumes I'm going out with Cuban Hottie again and I don't clarify.

I end up going home, and staying in the rest of the day, but I swear I was happier for it.

It's as though he's like some sort of bad indulgence, one which you pay the consequences for if you overindulge.

I do have to admit. It does feel good to have the upper hand.

-Catch y'all laters

Jezz ♥

Make up attempts at fixing my year- The Cuban Hottie Episode

My brother gave me "sound" dating advice, and stated that I needed to set Jacob Wannabe straight on who's the one in control round these parts. Or something like that. I'm not quite sure. In an attempt to cheer me up from my dating funk, he invited me to tag along with him and his best friend, whom we'll call Cuban Hottie, to a club for a night of fun... and then Jacob texted me. This gets interesting.

Make up attempts at fixing my year- The Cuban Hottie Episode

After work, the guys are waiting for me downstairs, and off we go. My brother even brought my favorite jeans and the new shoes I'm crazy about. I must've been that depressing. Damn.

So off we go to La Rumba, one of the few decent hispanic clubs from around. Cuban Hottie and my brother, whom I usually call Dude, were on a flirting streak and were surrounded by chicks all night. I was the cool one with a drink who looks smug. Or you can look at it like I did, I was the lame one with a drink bored beyond belief. Either way. Same Difference.

Cuban Hottie, whom, in all honesty, is about as smart as a puppy, had a broken leg. With a Cast. And he's at a club. Dancing. We're all talking, we have a couple shots, joke around. We decided to dance. These two guys were pretty much outnumbered by girls, but it was still fun to have them looking in every which direction. Eventually almost everyone goes off, and I'm left dancing with Cuban Hottie. My phone fell out of my pocket. I had a text message. From Jacob himself of course. He was asking me what I was up to and how my day was going. I'll admit that I did answer and said all was good, but then I gave Cuban Hottie my phone and decided to keep dancing. Eventually, he left and I kept dancing with a few other guys.

Well... Cuban Hottie kept getting my messages, and Dude, brother that he is, decided to see who it was. Upon realizing it was Jacob himself, they took it upon themselves to start texting Jacob pretending to be me.
They manage to tell Jacob that I'm on a date with Cuban Hottie, and that I had a very very good mojito and that Cuban Hottie can dance better than anyone I've known. As some sort of "finishing touch" they added that he likes me a lot too, but I'm not trying to get serious or anything.

O.M.F'N.G.

The thing is, they didn't tell me at all.
I was still dancing away, laughing with my brother's friends and having a good time.
I get back to the table, and Cuban Hottie still has my phone, and we keep talking... and then my phone starts ringing, and he accidentally answers the call. He says it's Jacob and realized the call was on, as I'm saying Just ignore it, I don't wanna talk to him.
Oops.
Guess it was too late for that.

I went to the patio area in the club, and took the phone call.
Jacob asks me if the guy he heard was Cuban Hottie.
I asked him how he knew who I was with, to which he rather puzzled answered that I told him that on my texts.
I look at my phone, and go over my messages... and see what was done... and start laughing while Jacob is confused as hell.
He asks me who is this Cuban Hottie and where I met him, and slightly bragging, I tell him that he's my brother's best friend, and a regular at my house, so he sleeps over every once in a while.
Pretending to be worried, Jacob asks how much I've drunk already and how much has he, I tell him I only had a few mojitos, and explain how Cuban Hottie doenst drink much or often because he's diabetic.
Finally cutting to the point, Jacob invites me to go watch episode 4 of Star Wars with the dominican crew and I say ok. We agree to have him pick me up around 10-11am. At this point, Cuban Hottie comes to get me cause we're doing another round of shots and I'm the one that leads the crew.  I laughed and told Jacob I had to do cuz my date was waiting, to which he simply hung up.
Mission accomplished, I guess.
I have to admit I was feeling pretty damn good after that, although I'm not sure if it had anything to do with making Jacob jealous or if it was purely due to my 2 mojitos and my 3 shots.
We eventually left the club, went to Rey's Tacos, another regular place for us, for the Sober-me-up after club food, and somewhere at the break of dawn, my guess is between 5 and 6 am, I got home.

I guess we can consider this a redeeming act in the fact that I'm steering away from my dates with Jacob, and I'm out and about again. However, doesn't the fact that I am relishing in making him jealous make it counter-productive?
I'm not sure. Whatever.

I swear my life is a crazy melodramatic novel. With sick plot twists.
I'll finish the rest of the story on the next one.

Catch y'all laters!

_jezz

Dating advice regarding Jacob Wannabe from self-proclaimed Master Player

So after my break down of sorts, after pouting and sulking, my brother, kind of concerned (I'll admit I was touched) asked me what was going on and why I was in such a shitty mood.
... to which I explained the whole Jacob wannabe story.
And....
he laughed.
Yes, he laughed at me in my face.

He did, however, do two good things: help me find the humor in the situation (in a rater fucked up way) and also gave me some dating advice of sorts. Go friggin figure.
I'll make it a short list, and share the wisdom:

Dating advice regarding Jacob Wannabe from self-proclaimed Master Player

• He thinks he has you in the palm of his hand, and he knows that, even though you get mad, it has an expiration date. Don't give in.
• Whenever he wants to make plans with you, tell him you've got plans with a friend. Preferably a male friend.... and then tell him that you like this friend a little.
• Act coy. Don't let him think he's really important, but don't make it seem as though you don't care about him anymore at all.
• Eventually, make plans with him... and then cancel. This makes sure that he misses you.
• Tell him you'll be home all weekend, and insinuate you want him to come over and hang out. If he calls to come over (which according to my brother, he will) tell him you're not home.
• Hang out with his friends and tell him. He'll be pissed he wasn't there.
• Be complicated. It'll drive him insane and make him miss you. And this is important. If he misses you, he'll make plans to hang out with you on his own terms and give in to what you want.

So there ya have it, folks. This is what my younger brother, in his infinite dating wisdom, has decided to share with me in hopes I get some sort of decent outcome.

LOL.

I guess, I should make some sort of use out of it?

I'm not sure I'll pull these off, but we'll see how it goes!

-Laters

Jezz