....

I'm siting next to you and all I can think about is how much longer will we do this... Time keeps passing & it feels like you're still stuck at 16 and I feel like the more I try to make things work, the less effort you seem to want to make... So what am I supposed to do? How do I make peace with all this disdain and disappointment I feel when we're together?... Is it unreasonable of me to expect more than mediocrity from you? Is it insensible of me to believe that you CHOOSE to live a life of underachieving and hoping and dreaming of greatness and success? Maybe I'm being stupid... But i'll be caught dead before I actually tell you that 50% of the time I feel like you're dragging me down in a downward spiral that ends on a rut & a grave, and the other half I sit, puzzled & confused, wondering if this is all you have to offer & if that's enough for me... Is this all I deserve? .... Days like this make me feel like love, no matter how much of it you may have for me & I for you... is just not enough to turn a blind eye & stay with a heavy heart... I'm trying, I'm really trying here.... but at what point do I forgo saving the sinking ship of us and save whatever is left of me?... & you're high & asleep while I, wonder our fates away...