The conversation I was looking forward to- Setting ground rules

After my visit to North Ave to see Jacob Wannabe, I left feeling like usual: a little demoralized, a little dirty and kinda hurt and a little worthless.
I sketched. I wrote. I lived through paper and pen and died a little on the inside.
However, as usual, there is more to be said about this, and another conversation sparks, one which, for a change I am glad happened.

The conversation I was looking forward to- Setting ground rules.

After leaving my study session, I ended up going to the mall and indulging in some retail therapy. Two dresses, a Victoria Secret body splash, a sweater and a shirt later, I was somewhat better. I had a smoothie and it kinda sealed the deal.
I hit up the dorms and spent some time with Babes, who mos def knows how to cheer me up and make me feel better.
I had to head over to work at 11:00... I've got VACATIONS coming up in 8 days! and I can't wait! However, because they've had to switch around my schedule, I'm covering someone else, who in turn is going to cover me when I'm gone. So I had a grave yard shift to cover, and I head to work.
I texted Jacob for a little while, and eventually did some work.
I left around 8:30 am, and headed home to get some rest. I got up around 5 to head to work again at 6pm. I know, it's just retarded.

Anyhow, during this whole time, I hadn't heard from Jacob, but, needless to say, I didn't feel all so awesome about my visit over to North Ave. I enjoyed spending time with him, but I dislike the aftertaste of the visit.
Somewhere around 9 we start texting again.
He asks how's my day, I ask about his. I throw in that I had fun and that I missed him, but that it's a BAD thing. He agrees on missing me and asks how bad can it be?
I tell him we both know better... to which he replies "Well...."
I ask him "Well what?" and he says "I don't wanna agree with you. I miss you too much"
I tell him I have nothing to do with this and that we have a dramatic friendship of sorts...
I missed ya, and I felt like going. Obviously not going for a while has not changed things at all. I still like him and that's not good. He asks questions. I answer. I'm usually the one who brings up these conversations, because well, I dislike being in Limbo. That gray area where anything goes because nothing is defined.

I explain to him that nothing changed in the sense that everything feels the same; I'm happy to see him and spend time with him, but I feel awful when I leave. I tell him I keep putting my beliefs aside and compromise because I like him, but in the end wrong is wrong regardless of the circumstances around it... and THAT'S what I want no part of: his wrongdoing, because in the end, choices were made and we both have to stick to them and keep our boundaries clear because otherwise we're headed to the same BS as last year.
Which nobody really wants.

He asks questions. He's a good listener. I'll give him that. I appreciate the fact that he usually admits when he has no idea of what to say. He replied with "I really don't know what to say to all of that. I feel like I'm contradicting myself. Yeah, I miss you, and love spending time with you, but I also hate to hurt you. So what should we do?"

I didn't reply.
I really didn't have any kind of solution or anything of the sort.
Truthfully, I didn't even have anything positive to say, other than to point out that he's a chauvinistic, selfish jerk with double standards, which I hate beyond reason (the double standards, not him, of course). So in that light, Silence was the best idea.

At 12 , when I was finally off from work, I clicked on my phone's dial button, and since I still had the text from Jacob open, to dialed his  number. I hung up when I realized my mistake. I get home and eat dinner, and right before getting into bed, I see the 2 missed calls from Jacob. I call back but get no answer. I start dozing off to sleep, but he calls back. We make small talk for a bit, and eventually get to talking about our previous conversation. Much to my surprise, he's the one who brings it up. He mentions how he's contemplating things, specifically, us. He tells me how my remarks about how I feel leaving North Ave have set him into deep thought. Well damn. (There IS mental capacity for deep thought in-there?! [0.0] damn!).

We talk about how messed things are between us. I explain to him how, as much as I may like him, I don't want the same drama we've had lingering. I tell him its one thing if I go to North Ave to visit a friend, and it's a completely different thing if things take a different course from there. I can live with spending time with a friend who has a GF. I cannot, however, live with being the other chick he sees on the side every once in a while. THAT'S not ok. At all.
He tells me how at this point it's not a choice. After not seeing me for months, he knows how much it sucks to not talk and he's willing to back off altogether if that means he still gets to see me.
So I guess this means we're flat out friends only as of today.
This is gonna be fun.

I laugh and tell him that we're in store for more awkward holidays and he laughs. I tell him I won, I  made him laugh first. He says that we never know what's in store, and that things could be different for the next holidays. I ask him what he means, and he says that for all we know, he might not even be with PB at this point.
I tell him I have no answer to that.
I explain how I have no control over that.
I mention how in this situation, nobody wins. He makes a point by saying that, by him sticking to the boundaries set, I win. I tell him I'm not winning at the one that counts.
We don't have much to say about that.... but I'm glad to say that we at least got to a consensus agreement that we're not to be like we used to be, no more official dates, no more cuddles and kisses, no more of all that good stuff, no no.
We talk about when we get to hang out again. I tell him about my trip to DR. He talks about his finals, next week. We make plans to hang out at the end of the month. I tell him we'll have time to reflect on our conversation, with a mockery of a too serious tone. He laughs.
I call it a night.

I feel like I'm doing the right thing here.
I just hope it sticks. Cause Seriously.

I'm out.

Catch y'all laters.
-Jezz

Dating advice regarding Jacob Wannabe from self-proclaimed Master Player

So after my break down of sorts, after pouting and sulking, my brother, kind of concerned (I'll admit I was touched) asked me what was going on and why I was in such a shitty mood.
... to which I explained the whole Jacob wannabe story.
And....
he laughed.
Yes, he laughed at me in my face.

He did, however, do two good things: help me find the humor in the situation (in a rater fucked up way) and also gave me some dating advice of sorts. Go friggin figure.
I'll make it a short list, and share the wisdom:

Dating advice regarding Jacob Wannabe from self-proclaimed Master Player

• He thinks he has you in the palm of his hand, and he knows that, even though you get mad, it has an expiration date. Don't give in.
• Whenever he wants to make plans with you, tell him you've got plans with a friend. Preferably a male friend.... and then tell him that you like this friend a little.
• Act coy. Don't let him think he's really important, but don't make it seem as though you don't care about him anymore at all.
• Eventually, make plans with him... and then cancel. This makes sure that he misses you.
• Tell him you'll be home all weekend, and insinuate you want him to come over and hang out. If he calls to come over (which according to my brother, he will) tell him you're not home.
• Hang out with his friends and tell him. He'll be pissed he wasn't there.
• Be complicated. It'll drive him insane and make him miss you. And this is important. If he misses you, he'll make plans to hang out with you on his own terms and give in to what you want.

So there ya have it, folks. This is what my younger brother, in his infinite dating wisdom, has decided to share with me in hopes I get some sort of decent outcome.

LOL.

I guess, I should make some sort of use out of it?

I'm not sure I'll pull these off, but we'll see how it goes!

-Laters

Jezz

Next Saturday

Mmhm

I have an interesting situation to ensue next Saturday. Well, in all honestly it's more like a minor dilemma whether or not to let a situation ensue next Saturday.
See, it's rather simple.
I usually volunteer at Habitat for Humanity on Saturdays. It's actually rather fun. I have skipped a couple days and gone out with my friends instead, and still said I would be at Habitat, just cause it's easier than having to explain where I'm going and with whom, and what I'm going to do, blah blah blah.
I was still planning on going to Habitat next Saturday, you know, nothing major. Then my friends invited me to hang out by the pool, which I was kinda debating over. I would be cool going and making the most of what's left of summer... but then my mom mentioned something that got me thinking.


[Oh the irony. I got interrupted by a text message from Jacob wannabe. well Damn.]

Mom mentioned that next Saturday we've been invited to her friend's house for friend's husband's birthday. It's a family function.
If y'all have read anything about my posts of Jacob wannabe... it's that we met through family friends. The thing next Saturday is going to be precisely at the house we met... at one of his best friend's house. He is more than likely going to be there... possibly with PB.
Me being spiteful as I am, am SO far beyond tempted to show up for an couple hours and then leave... just to see his face when he sees me... and of course the chance to see PB in person (and show off how much BETTER I am) is something I'd hate to miss.

So now I have 3 options:
a) Habitat
b) Pool with friends
c) Family Function

oh damn.
And here goes the irony of everything. I would be interrupted from listening to my new favorite band while typing up this post by a text msg from Jacob wannabe...

I swear I try to be good, and Fate just sets me up and gives me all the reasons and tools to misbehave... Lol.
So what do you guys think I should do and what is the most likely thing I will actually end up doing?