“You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy”
-Erica Jong (American writer and feminist, 1942)
I suppose that this is where my issues begin. I consider myself rather on the smart side. not a genius, but a rather a socially adept dork.
I've been having issues with the male gender recently. Namely, loss of respect, trust, reliance.... in general, a loss of faith in them and what they represent in women's lives.
I suppose it's because I've been dealing with the rather stupid side of the gender. Or is it because I'm dealing with the stupid but nice and cute, and the smart and cute asshole. I don't know. But when it comes to men, I've come to regard them all with lust and disdain.
An old saying goes:
“God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him”So, IS that my problem? That I bear the burden of intelligence? ad knowledge and wisdom, and standards and expectations? Is it really? It makes a girl wonder. It makes me reconsider and question if I'm not being to harsh, or too uptight, or too selfish. It makes me think that maybe I'm just asking for too much of a guy. But then again, I quote Erica Jong once again:
“Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man.”
Sadly, she has a point. Men are, in general, selfish creatures. I'm not saying that there aren't women that are this way too, but in women, there is a certain desire to nourish and cradle, to be there, to be supportive, and understanding, to be sympathetic that is just plain undeniable and more often than not, it is of a subconscious nature. I'll blame it on biology, evolution and preservation of the species. If men are known to be selfish, rather thoughtless creatures, someone's gotta take care of business with the family and make sure the kids are taken care of.... hence the nourishing, selfless ways, and when the selfless ways are ignored and women become deviant from this norm, we feel guilty. Yes, we feel guilty. I'll openly admit that the one reason I haven't left home and gone to do my own thing is because I would feel insanely guilty about leaving my mom like my dad has and I'd feel guilty for not having her being able to rely on me, just like she has come to be with my brother.
Which leads me into my next point in case. As much as I am independent and self reliant and have a can-do attitude, it can only go so far. Hormones are hormones and I can't fight the enemy betraying me from the inside... I am, a sucker for men. Wait, that didn't come out right. lol. What I mean is, that I am pretty much like any other girl out there, I want a guy I can rely on. Not because I will (because I most likely won't) but because it is comforting to have the option and the knowledge that my back is covered. I read somewhere today:
Its interesting to consider that women are attracted to strong men. Many of these women don't even realize why they are attracted to them. I do. Its because they're looking for the man who is in complete control of his faculties and his life. The man of unrelenting strength of character and mind. Why? Because such a man wouldn't let anything mare his plans for happiness. And guess who would directly benefit from that?
Well damn. That's all I can say to that. It's truly impressive that I hadn't realized that yet, with how true it is and how much I dwell on the subject of relationships. Nonetheless, it is true. I posted it as a facebook status earlier today, and someone commented that:
The statement is false... A relationship has always and will always consist of one stronger partner than another, the human condition unfortunately. In scientific terminology, 2 elements of equal polarity regardless of mass or volume will oppose one another equally, strong men and strong women normally will not permanently attract each other, one has to be stronger thus making one weaker by default.. Look at super stars who marry other super stars, they never last... So, a strong woman is not actually looking for a strong man, just someone stronger than themselves... and vice-versa.
To which I replied:
I do agree with it. I don't think that one necesary must be stronger than the other, I think it's more of consistent with being able COMPLEMENT each other, and work as a team in general. No matter how strong you are, you will always have flaws and weak spots. If you have a person by your side that can complement you and vice versa, then you are more likely to be strong as a unit, not just as individuals. but hey, I'm just sayin'.
As much as I am coming to distrust men and refuse to rely on them, I do still hope to get to someone, someone I can rely one, and believe in, and empower and feel uplifted by... I want to feel someone is part of my team, someone I know can stand by my side and I can consider an equal, a compliment. This is after all, what God intended when he created women.
But the more time passes I lose faith that this is ever gonna happen... but hey what do I know.
I'll end the post with another quote from Erica Jong, one that proves that feminists are not devoid of a vagina and a ♥:
“Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.”