Random thoughts while driving- Coping

 Random thoughts while driving

... and it's funny cause I understand it, I grasp the need behind it behind it all,

Behind addictions, behind mental illnesses....

I can sympathize with the whole breakdown 

 and mental illusions, hallucinations, the need for a fix

... 

it's all meant to cope. 

They're all coping mechanisms

ways for us to deal with reality, our realities.

I cope. 

I have to cope, with everything that happens. 

But what if I don't want to cope? 

What if I just want to break down into a million little pieces and shatter away?

But I have to cope. 

I have no other choice...

For me, coping is the only thing that's left. 

Coping is the only way I can believe I'll ever get out of this mess, this disaster.

Coping became in essence, a need.
It became a survival mechanism, a matter of instinct and self preservation.

So coping is no longer coping... coping is hoping. 

Living

... 

coping is believing there is an end to this all that won't kill me in the process

....